I can’t even come up with something smartass on this one…just a big ass WTF?!

It must have been around the end of middle school, maybe even the beginning part of freshmen year; probably around 1992. Sightings was a new show on Fox and it was all about the awe and wonderment of grey aliens as a phenomena. Not so for myself. The whole notion of an advanced race of beings with cooler rides than we have readily available to us, meandering about the cosmos with nothing better to do than stick alloys in to our collective rectums did not seem “fascinating” to me. It actually instilled a great sense of fear in me. There were many sleepless nights that I spent in my room wondering if the lights that spotted my ceiling were in fact headlights of passing cars or were the imminent end of my anal virginity. It got so spooky at times that I actually thought I was experiencing bouts of “lost time,” the inexplicable experience of not knowing what happened for a specific amount of time. If you were to tell me that it might have been associated with the past time I enjoyed of my own form of “botany,” I would probably have told you to fuck off. Looking back on it, was this a fear that I should have obsessed over? Probably not. It wasn’t very rational to fear a bunch of perverted spacemen with uber technology who were short in stature and had mega minds to wreak unnatural havoc on unsuspecting individuals. In retrospect, I should have taken a moment and analyzed that fear because eventually I would have come to the realization that said perverted spacemen are very similar to Japanese men. Very similar.

This brief interlude in the life of the Dahli Rama was brought in part to help those of you out there facing challenges that seem disproportionate to the actions in your life to illustrate that most of our fears, while real and in your face as they may seem at the time, can usually be disposed of with the simplicity of action and rationality. Regardless of the circumstances and intricacies that problems present in our lives, it is an unfortunate fact that they are all part of life. As cliche’ as it may sound, fear alleviates nothing. The initiation brought about by positive thoughts and taking action brings about a resolution, positive or negative, so that life may commence. That is all for today, from your alien fearing Dahli Rama.

I hate when people say one thing and then do another. It’s not acceptable and if you are a business owner you know that that shit does not fly. So why is it ok for giant software companies to do it? Here’s the deal, I don’t like when my computer does things that I didnt tell it to do. I can’t stand programs that try and secretly connect to their mother ship to report my whereabouts and habits. Call me paranoid. What software company would do such a thing you may ask? Well Adobe for starters. When you launch a CS3 or later Adobe application , your computer secretly connects to what looks like an local IP address 192.168.112.2O7.net

Wait something is wrong here. If you take a close look at this address, the last “numbers” of the IP address (2O7) look funny. Thats because it’s not a zero its actually the letter ‘O’. Also, IP address don’t end in any .com/net/org suffix. This is a website pretending to be something it’s not.

Turns out that 192.168.112.2O7.net is owned by Omniture, a huge behavioral analytics firm. They want to know what you do in your spare time. Basically, They are spying on us. Sugar coat it any way you like but thats the bottom line and there isn’t a damn thing you can do about it… Or is there?

Don’t worry friend. I Will Teach You.

We are going to use Windows firewall to block those fuckers and make sure they never see a damn thing from your computer ever again. I’m using Windows 7 so if your using something else then this instructions are usless to you and you should just skip to the end or just go away and read another article. Go on. Clear out!

Ok so the first thing your going to do is push the windows key on your keyboard to bring up the start menu. Or if your one of those mouth breather types go ahead and use your mouse clicker device because it lights up when you move it. Oooh Shiney!

In the search bar type “%windir%\system32\WF.msc” and hit enter. Or copy and paste it like a smart kid. If you do it fast enough your friends will think your SUPER smart!
Welcome to the Windows Firewall Control Panel. On the left select “Outbound Rules” and then on the right select “New Rule”. Now your going to want to Select “Custom Rule” and then “All Programs”. Now it is going to show you a screen where it asks you Which ports and protocols this new rule will apply to. Go ahead and leave this alone and click next because we want this protection to apply everywhere at all times just in case. Now is the fun part. We are going to enter the IP address of the website we want to block. It is a Remote IP address on the lower set of boxes click “These IP addresses”, click “Add” and type your address. To block the Omniture fuckers we’re going to use the address “66.235.132.91″ without the quotes.
If you have a list of fuckers to block you can add all the addresses now and click next. Now your going to select the Block option because we obvoiuslly want to block this, otherwise we wouldnt be here in the first place! Click next a few more times, Give your new rule a funny name like “BLOCK ADOBE SPY FUCKERS” click next again and your all set! I also like to make rules like this for shitty websites that I hate like Yahoo.com That way if I let a friend use my computer I dont have to worry about them going to something retarded.
Here’s what mine looks like:

If you are not using Windows 7, then at least I was able to inform you about Software Companies and their mass quantities of Douchbaggery. Add that one to your spell check dictionary!

On a side note, after writing this article I feel that I have really singled out Adobe as a wicked villain and thats not at all what I am trying to do. I love Adobe even if they are some sneaky little bastards. They make great products and in reality they probibly only use the data to see which Adobe products get the most use and it’s all perfectly legal in fine print. Their methods are just a little too invasive for my taste. Adobe is not the only company that does this sort of thing. Omniture works with hundreds of big name software firms some of which are probibly installed on your computer right now. Don’t even get me started on Apple’s shitty business operation. I could produce a whole blog on the horrible shit that they do. Anyway, Cheers. Have Fun!